Brown said she loved the question about how long grief lasts, which she saw and picked in advance, because, “I don’t have the answer because not having the answer is the answer. It takes as long as it takes.”

Hoda suggested people just simply sit next to someone who is grieving or crying, instead of giving them a tissue or telling them “It’s OK,” because it may compel them to stop and it’s important to express the emotions they feel.

“There’s a definition of compassion in ‘Atlas of the Heart’ from Pema Chödrön, the American Buddhist nun that says, ‘Compassion is not a relationship between the wounded and the healed. It’s a relationship between equals.’ It’s knowing your darkness well enough that you can sit in the dark with others,” Brown said.

She also reiterated the idea that grief is natural and not something we have to experience on our own, which is a lesson that’s important to pass on to our children.

“Being sad is a beautiful part of being human,” she said.

“I tell my kids all the time: We’re strongest in the places that we’re broken,” she added.

Brené Brown

US writer and professor

Casandra Brené Brown is an American research professor, lecturer, author, and podcast host. Brown is known in particular for her research on shame, vulnerability, and leadership.
Born: November 18, 1965 (age 56), San Antonio, Texas, U.S.
Spouse: Steve Alley (m 1994 – present)